In Michigan Groundhog day is the day you go hunting for groundhogs. Basically, on Groundhog Day you just sit in front a groundhog cave. Most of these caves consist of the skirting under a house trailer. Groundhogs have lived under trailer houses for thousands of years.
Now, the best trailers to stake out for groundhogs are ones that have gardens in the yard during the summer. Groundhogs love to chow down on garden stuff. Groundhogs are also very lazy so they don’t like to have to travel too far to get to that garden stuff. This year I staked out a spot in front of a trailer park. I figured with all those trailers at least one of them would have a groundhog under it.
Of course spotting a groundhog does not help unless you can shoot it down with just one shot. Otherwise, the groundhog will scurry back under the nearest trailer and heal up again. It seems that groundhogs are able to instantly regenerate and heal themselves. The only way you can stop them is to shoot them in the head. If you shoot them in the head they’ll stay down. Of course if you miss the groundhog he may scurry away or on a few occasions they might attack you. It is said that anyone bitten by a groundhog will turn into one. It seems that is how they procreate since all groundhogs are males. I think that was on the National Geographic Channel.
Shooting the groundhog in the head requires some real thinking. You might use a rifle if you’re a good enough shot but, if you’re kind of a crappy shot like me then you might opt for a shotgun. A pump shotgun is of course best so that you have a chance to keep shooting in case the groundhog decides to attack and turn you into one of his kind. Being a groundhog must be the worst curse of all since they are all born male. No wonder they are so ornery.
Anyway, I did spot a groundhog and I shot twice at it before it ran back under the trailer it was living under. I shot a third time but unfortunately, I shot right through the trailer. The owner was Misty Merkel and luckily she was not home so she was only upset because I shot out the monitor on her computer. I thought I would just owe her a new monitor but she owned an old AT&T computer and I could not find a monitor to run with it so I had to buy her a whole new setup.
Well, in Michigan if you don’t shoot a groundhog on Groundhog Day then you can expect to have six more months of winter. Since the next winter in Michigan begins on September 1st then we are not going to have any spring, summer or, fall here. Well, I did my part and tried.
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