NORTHERN MICHIGAN LIZARD MONSTER WARNING IN SILLY PROSE

The Michigan Lizard monster scare,
Has frightened people everywhere,
But, he eats only pork,
If you're scared you're a dork,
If you see him, hug him I dare,
If he eats you I really don't care.

WARNING!!!! The above is just a silly poem. If you see the lizard monster in Northern Michigan please, do not approach him because he is dangerous. Hugging the lizard monster is a very stupid thing to do. If you come across the lizard monster stand perfectly still. If you have recently eaten any bacon or other pork products keep your mouth shut and try not to breath. The lizard monster might smell the pork on your breath and it might drive him to do unspeakable acts. Please be careful and vigilant for the lizard monster when you are hiking in the woods of Northern Michigan.
THANK YOU!!

This has been a public service announcement.